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THE BURRY MAN
EXCERPT FROM TRUE BRITS ©JR DAESCHNER

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It's Dress-Down Friday in Silicon Glen, and the alpha, beta and epsilon-grade workers of Agilent Technologies are hurrying toward the canteen.
Dark-green plants flank the smoked-glass corridor, with grey tubing and metal grates running overhead.
Clad in their button-downs and T-shirts, chinos and jeans, the foot soldiers of Scotland's future chatter about job cuts, technological breakthroughs and their plans for the weekend.

As they turn the corner, though, they encounter something so weird, so alien, that they can't help but do a double take. A man--or is it a mannequin?--stands propped up against the glass like a human starfish smothered in prickly green burrs.

His mouth and eyes are nothing but dark, overgrown holes, and dozens of roses crown his head. His arms are spread wide--like his legs--and supported by two floral staves to keep them from sticking together.
Confronted with this living relic, some of the 21st century workers grin bemusedly, but most look away, rushing down the corridor without asking questions.

They're too busy looking forward to the future--or at least lunch--to bother with the past. William Wallace is one thing, but a bug-infested plant man, well-it's not very Braveheart, is it? Not very jocko-macho. What with all the vegetation, the floral hat and the roses for nipples, the green alien in their midst could almost be (gulp) ... Englesh.

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