OUR PATRON OF PILES

EXCERPT FROM EUROTRIPPING ©JR DAESCHNER

If Portugal's São Gonçalo can cure warts, then why not acne and haemorrhoids?

In Bunheiro, villagers have an unorthodox cure for these afflictions: dropping their trousers in front of the saint.

Inside, the Chapel of São Gonçalo, the saint's icon occupies the central alcove above the altar. Appropriately enough, his painted face-all wide eyes and raised eyebrows-looks vaguely shocked, as if-well, as if someone's just flashed their arse at him.

'People here say the saint is naughty-a prankster,' laughs António Amador, a spry, lively man who likes a joke himself. 'They say he likes to see backsides!'

He explains how the 'cure' works: the afflicted promise the saint that if they're healed, they'll then go to the chapel and drop their trousers out of gratitude. 'But people also say São Gonçalo's vengeful. If he cures a wart, and you don't fulfil your vow, he'll put it back in the same place it was!'

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