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GURNING
EXCERPT FROM TRUE BRITS ©JR DAESCHNER

Newsflash-the World's Ugliest Man works in a nuclear power plant, and the World's Ugliest Woman is ... an Avon lady.
That's what they say in Egremont, and they should know. Every year, supposedly since 1267, this hard-luck town outside the Lake District has hosted the World Gurning Championships, where men, women and children compete to pull the ugliest face.

But don't think the naturally ugly-or "oogly"-have an unfair advantage. Contestants are judged on their before-and-after transformations.
"Say you're oogly in the first place, and ya pull a gurn, an you don't look much different," explains champion Peter Jackman. "Well, just because you're oogly doesn't mean to say that ya win it. Because gurnin' means the Art of Pullin' Faces, not oogliness."

Unfortunately, that distinction is lost on some contestants. "There's one lady in particular. She was ugly to start with, and she didn't look any different when she gurned," chuckles organiser Alan Clements. "Then you get fellows like Peter. He's a good-lookin' guy, but he can make himself into a monster-that's what you're lookin' for."

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