CHEESE ROLLING: 'Keep an eye on the cheese'-and the guy who does four painful Gloucester Somersaults down the hill!
SHIN KICKING: Thump! Thump! Thwock! Crank up the volume for the full effect! Listen out for the kid shouting 'Kick 'im in the nuts!' and the spectator at the end groaning 'Ooh! I felt that.'