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SHIN KICKERS
OF THE WORLD UNITE!!!!
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TEN REASONS WHY
SHIN KICKING SHOULD
BE AN OLYMPIC SPORT
(well, nine, actually—we
couldn’t think of ten)
.1
It beats competitive walking, synchronised
swimming, ‘DanceSport’ and
any number of namby-pamby pastimes already
recognised by the International Olympic
Committee (IOC).
.2
If judo fighters are allowed to break
bones in the Olympics
(and they are), then shin kicking should be
a ‘shoe-in’.
.3
Even the wrestlers of Ancient Greece used
to kick shins
(though they also wrestled in the nude,
something that
modern shin kickers save for the privacy of
their own homes).
.4
Thanks to the Cotswold Olimpicks
(est. 1612), the British were the
only guardians of the Olympic flame between
the Games of ancient
Greece and their revival in 1896. Okay, so
it took a Frenchman
to start the modern Olympics, but he got
the idea from us.
.5
The Cotswold Olimpicks are refreshingly
free of multinational
sponsorship, dodgy anthems and cheesy
opening ‘extravaganzas’.
.6
The sport has never been tarnished by
bribery scandals
(though bung-hungry IOC officials could
probably wangle a free drink at a local pub).
.7
Shin Kicking would give
‘teamGB’ a chance to win
Olympic gold in a sport more riveting than
rowing, curling or, er, skeet shooting.
.8
Unlike most Olympic sports, it’s a
dead cert that
at least one of the competitors will
actually get hurt.
.9
There’s no need for dope
tests—if anything, stupidity is encouraged.
If you can think of another reason, let us
know!
Email skab@skab.co.uk
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